Fragrant singing memories

'Sajde pe tere jhukta hoon,tumpe hi aake rukta hoon... ' driving home from Parsippany ,NJ with my roommate on the next seat,singing the song....
'Nazrein milana, nazrein churana...' on the way to New Hampshire Fall festival...
'Soni de nakhre sone lagde..' Virginia trip...
'Rock on ' ... Las Vegas, Grand canyon.....
... and many more.....

I have a way of linking certain songs to my memorable moments. This mostly happens because the songs were playing during those moments, when they hit my subconscious and stayed there. It happens like a déjà vu. As soon as the song starts playing ,the pictures of those moments film afresh before my eyes, and this is quite a feeling!

Fragrances do the same to me too... Davidoff reminds me of a snowy romantic february day .... a typical fresh smell of leaves and a flower(I do not know the name) brings back my childhood days at 2023,out of the window of my room next to the blossoming Krishnachura ...earthy fragrance of the first rain on the cemented ground takes me to our basket ball court and cemented classroom window ledge at DPS,where we used to intentionally spill the water to enjoy that smell...... Ralph Lauren, of the moment before my wedding,sitting on the pidi(small stool),thoroughly palpitating with fear and wonderment about the new life...and the list goes on ...

I love it! I love the way my grey cells work to catch me off guard with such whispers from the past.... It is like a breath of fresh air during a routine ..... I love how I don't need to consciously sit down to recall those lovely moments .... I don't need to sift through photographs to experience my memoirs.... It is like a surprise of flashbacks.  It overwhelms me, sneaks up on me and wherever I am,I break into a smile!My fragrant, singing memories...

Three months young !

Note: This post was written on 18th October 2010.

Three months and a week back, in the midst of a crazy hullabaloo of 'to-do's for the upcoming Biggest Festival of my life, I had wondered about today and how it would be....


It was a week before my wedding, and things seemed to be going crazily out of hand. Mumma, Baba and I were constantly putting out fires everywhere,be it invitation card shortage,or microbial growth on the new gifts for in-laws(thanks to the incessant rains and damp)!To top the cake, I had my uncontrollable wedding jitters!


The complete project of "Bride side of My Wedding" had been planned right from the conception stage. Resources were allocated along with team leads. We followed the whole process of SDLC meticulously. After setting up the Production install date, budget and the concept on hand, I started gathering requirements and created the detail design document. It was actually fun to see things being executed efficiently, setting up status calls and I was pretty happy with the progress. Baba gladly overshot the budget to accommodate ALL of my bizarre wishes to conjure up my dream wedding. I minutely scrutinized and hand-picked everything from the wedding hall seat covers to my wedding ensemble and got on many nerves in the process. But my parents, Bishu Kaku, Bapi Mama, Babun Mama and Pishi-Pishemoshai toiled uncomplainingly to fulfill my hankerings. My emotional tsunamis were also being handled simultaneously by my parents and DB. Thank you all for making my wedding the best event in my life!


One week to the wedding and sitting alone at Pima Dida's flat on that Sunday,I was wondering how it will be three months down the line. I tried to imagine how the 18th of October will be like, what we would be doing, and how I would be feeling. But I could not. I have this weird habit of visualizing things before they happen, just to enjoy some of my day dreaming moments but this time I could not. As if I have had a memory loss,but in future! I could not even begin to view what the 19th of July will dawn and show me, whereas everything till the evening of 18th July was planned, starting with my Aiburobhat, evening dance party, Gaye holud on the next day, decking up for the wedding and then the grand finale! It was a strange feeling.


Today I feel like a little girl who got her Birthday gift early . The last three months have been full of such little surprises for me. The fact that I could not imagine it before,makes it all the more special. The new life has welcomed me in full splendour ,weaving a colourful gossamer of the new relationships. The new roles as a wife and a daughter-in-law seem like a far cry from my previously conceived images. I never considered myself to be a girl who would follow the conventional weepy 'Bidai'. However, watching Baba break down ,Mumma all welled up and Bhai's moist eyes,I lost it and my tears rebelled against me. Suddenly I was terrified. Terrified of losing my parents,losing Bhai,losing my family,my home....


Today its a memory I fondly look back to. I smile. My fears seem irrational. I did not lose my family,as I feared. I gained one. What shall I say? Three months into my marriage, I am home :)!